Johnson Gu

Arrogance and Ambition-Head of R&D Department

Kyung Lah
March 28, 2011
About reporter
Slick and sly, Scott is the go-to man for information and gossip. It is wise to believe only half the things he says. The son of Swen and his ex-wife. Scott became part of the paparazzi team for Nestree News at the young age of 21. Scott’s inside sources are highly reliable.

 A brilliant and confident man in the prime of youth, Johnson – Head of Research and Development Department of Pudoro Corporation—leaves a compelling impression in the hearts of people. A cigarette and lighter in hand is his signature trademark, and thus, he’s always shrouded in a cloud of smoke. It’s been close to a decade since Johnson first accepted this position in 1521, and has since racked up quite an impressive report card. In this duration, various inventions have consistently been developed by Pudoro Corporation. Johnson has begun to lay the blueprint for the “Fantasyland” of Happical Zoo, another feat sure to bring in a throng of wide-eyed tourists. Johnson is a crucial factor in pushing Pudoro Corporation to its peak, and a force to be reckoned with. Today, we are very honored to see this man in person, and here we are, in the lab situated in his office. I am certain this will be an eye-opening experience.
Swen: On the tenth of this month, Pudro Corporation will expand its new product launch and technology exposition. Currently, Nestree has already cleared out the entire square in preparation for this event. The Nestree Network is using this opportunity to visit Dr. Shun Lu’s right hand man, the brainchild behind all the inventions, head of the research department, Johnson!
Johnson: .....
Swen: Mr. Johnson, would you like to say a few words to our audience?
Johnson: Can’t you see I’m busy? I was nice enough to let you come here so stop talking so much. This is my newest invention--the Blacklister. It’s targeted specifically to the idiots I don’t want to see, so they can stay a solid two meters away from me. Isn’t it incredible? Humph, the paparazzi spend all this time trying to sneak into our department, see if they can dig out new inventions. Idiots!
Swen: Uh...Mr. Johnson. Rumor has it your hat and coat was custom-made. Is it true that this is the reason to why you are so intelligent?
Johnson: I’ve always believed that low IQ can be fixed! This hat is one of our prized inventions, able to absorb solar energy to activate brain cells. Inside this coat are my research papers and reference books. Smart people like me need to absorb new information, let alone the ordinary Joe! Everything needs to be done in proper order and fashion. Don’t run before you can walk, so don’t think you can be as smart as I am right away. Humph.
Swen: Eh? Excuse me, but what is this cotton-like, white...
Johnson: Don’t touch that! That’s highly classified! The research department houses the most confidential things in the whole of Pudoro Corporation. Please do not touch anything!
(Suddenly, the room explodes. The reporter and Johnson are smoked black.)
(Johnson said in a low voice: Ah! It’s all your fault! If I wasn’t trying to stop you from    touching things, the experiment would have worked...)
Swen: This...this must be arranged by you, sir! Does that mean this invention is completed after the explosion?
Johnson: Something went wrong...nono, everything is fine! No worries, no’re lucky. There are a few inventions in my office, so I’ll show you. Like our Light Stickies here. It’s like disposable tissue and post-it merged together. Just stick it wherever you need more light. And then there’s the 3D Ambiance Projector and Firework Illuminator. They’re both excellent for parties or any kind of festivities. Now this, is one of the doctor’s earliest invention--the Hummer. It’s a digital camera and recording device that can capture memories automatically and instantly. It’s still an amazing product today. Ah, and here is my lead invention, targeted towards fools...I mean, people who have dumb animals. This is the Smart Chip which allows IQ to increase by 15%! In Pudoro Corporation, no matter how low your IQ is, we can definitely make you smarter.
Swen: These inventions sure are impressive! Would the ordinary masses have the chance to use the corporation’s products?
Johnson: Of course! Aside from the custom-made products we provide for large-scale corporations, and the machinery we import to other countries, almost all of the other products are suitable to sell to the public. Merchandise related to Happical Zoo should be purchased at the souvenir shop at the zoo. You’ll buy rubbish if you purchase it from anywhere else. Other products are sold in the “On the Edge” shop located at Whalemouth Harbor. Pudoro Corporation has cooperated with them for a long time, so customers can be guaranteed of the quality. Our biggest goal is to make the world and easier and more convenient place. The basis of all products is human, and even the most ordinary person can benefit from it. That is our direction.
Swen: How are the people divided in the research department?
Johnson (walking out of the office): Come on, I’ll show you around. There are roughly thirty something people in this department, and are divided into three big groups: Robot CNS (or Central Nervous System), Robot Configuration and Robot Peripheral Group. Look, these two are researching the mechatronic blueprint. They are the new, junior researchers Hassen and Formerio, responsible for the R&D of flying equipment. The one teaching them is Eva. I don’t think I need to explain too much about her, since you probably know!
Swen: Oh, that’s just our job. Ms. Eva is well recognized on the island as having both the brains and beauty. Lastly, I have one question to ask you. Having to work closely with the maintenance department, how do you and Mr. Arz support each other?
Johnson: Oh you mean that old monkey, Arz! He’s definitively quick to react, and not very stupid. I’ve known him since we were five; so fighting is what we pretty much do everyday. Except, fighting with a monkey isn’t exactly interesting, and a smart person like me doesn’t like to waste my time. We do bicker a lot, and he’s always trying to steal my talent, and that just crosses me, since the most talented should be in the research department! Here is where the latest information and the most elite researchers are!
Swen: All the elitists who watch Nestree Network, please keep a close watch of your mailbox. Perhaps tomorrow, you will receive a light green invitation envelope from Pudoro Corporation! Opportunities don’t come often, and this is definitely one not to be missed. Thank you, Mr.
Johnson, for accepting our interview, and to everyone out there, don’t forget to check out our “New Technology” magazine, where the latest inventions of the Corporation is introduced, as well as the upcoming new product launch and technology exposition held this month on the eleventh!